When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore.

If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful.

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

I don't drink anymore... I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle.

It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.

Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key.

The world is the same you never change it, as sure as the stars shine above. Well, you're nobody til somebody loves you, so find yourself somebody to love.

Books always attract my attention.

God extend His power of great mercy and forgiveness to all men.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

What you must dare: is to be yourself.

I do appreciate a woman who has a passion for sports and knows their stuff.

When you're about to give up and your heart's about to break, remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes.

I regard myself as a soldier, though a soldier of peace.

When it comes to divide an estate, the politest men quarrel.

I have complete freedom, and there's no way to get pigeonholed or bored. What could be better than that?

I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings.