Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Does it matter whether it was a dream or a reality, if the dream made known to me the truth?

I'm so well-rounded I'm almost spherical.

The other day, we went somewhere, and did something.

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

we are the women our parents warned us against, and we are proud

Sometimes, she thought, life makes you grow up early. And some people never grow up at all.

You don't do pictures because the audience is ready for them. You do them because there's something gnawing at you, something inside.

(For songwriters) Development of your facility as a musician is also important.