Whenever I do something I tend to focus on it and spend all of my time and energy on it.

Everyone knows that senior citizens are stupid

I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot.

I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important.

I had a real passion for performing. I craved the attention. I was a goofy kid just like I am a goofy adult. So as soon as I got the bug of getting laughs and getting on stage I just couldn't stop.

We all borrow and steal and copy from each other, and that's the way I think people get inspired.

I'm no more a lawbreaker than they are , and if they were lawbreakers for keeping God's commandments, they're my example.

I think I always enjoyed the energy of a crowd, of being onstage. It started when I was even younger doing public speaking at school and just kept going from there.

It's hard to have any moral authority over a group of drunken college students when you have never had a beer and never been laid.

It's such a huge endeavor putting a full movie together, especially an independent movie. I tend to kind of do them when they come my way more than something than I go out and actively pursue.

Surely even those immune from the world, for the time being, need the touch of one another, or all is lost.

When I read about the way in which library funds are being cut and cut, I can only think that the door is closing and that American society has found one more way to destroy itself.

You can always improve your situation. But you do so by facing it, not by running away.

God is our portion, Christ our companion, the Spirit our Comforter, Earth our lodge, and Heaven is our home.

If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.

Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come.

If we had a hard time, my mother would sit me down and we would talk about it, and she kept talking and kept processing until we started to laugh about it.

Men, as a general rule, shy away from therapy because there is no obvious way to keep score.

A pain free, active lifestyle is not only possible, but it is the way you should expect to feel and live, no matter your age, no matter your previous experience.