Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

There is one family:MankindThere is one Religion:HumanityThere is one Home:Earth

Since evil is nothing positive, there can be no principle of evil. It has no meaning expect in reference to something good.

I think the talent is there to get to Super Bowl 5.

My history of lending money from banks is that they want to know the ins and outs of the backside of a duck.

Dances without purpose have false starts and stops.

I do believe in the power of story. I believe that stories have an important role to play in the formation of human beings, that they can stimulate, amaze and inspire their listeners.

Thou didst, in strains of eloquence refin'd, Inflame the soul, and captivate the mind.

If you're lucky enough to still have grandparents, visit them, cherish them and celebrate them while you can.

Without a tighter union, Europe will disintegrate

It is necessary for the welfare of the nation that men's lives be based on the principles of the Bible. No man, educated or uneducated, can afford to be ignorant of the Bible.