Whenever I write anything that sets up controversy its meaning is distorted almost instantly. Even the editorial writers of newspapers seem to be unable to understand the plainest sentence.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I love the silent hour of night, For blissful dreams may then arise, Revealing to my charmed sightWhat may not bless my waking eyes.

I need you to be clever, Bean. I need you to think of solutions to problems we haven't seen yet. I want you to try things that no one has ever tried because they're absolutely stupid.

It has been said that a rolling stone gathers no moss. I would add that sometimes a rolling stone also gathers no verifiable facts or even the tiniest morsels of journalistic integrity.

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.

There is no greater impediment to progress in the sciences than the desire to see it take place too quickly.

If the bubbles contain a misconception, as they always do, then it can't be maintained forever.

You never know exactly how new policies are going to work. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try them.

But you can’t live your life worried about dying all the time. If you do, you’re dead already.

Atreyu comes from a land called Fantasia. It's an imaginary land.

Grief is no more necessary when we understand death than fear is necessary when we understand flying.