Whenever a woman describes herself as a 'post-feminist' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist.

A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.

When women go off together we call it separatism. When men go off together we call it Congress.

I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.

The Administration's policy on women is often hard to see because it is written in the font size of pharmaceutical ads.

Teaching is performance art.

[On cloning sheep:] Oh great, just what we need - more sheep.

My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things.

So few people voted in the elections [of 1996] that the ones who did were called activists.

They never fail who die in a great cause.

The writer’s life is frightful

They say that a near death experience makes a person see a flash of their past, but that hasn't happened to me at all.

Life among clones would not be worth living, and a sane person will only rejoice that others have abilities that they do not share. That should be elementary.

Accomplishment begins with two words: 'I'll try.'

Now I love to feel that warm southern rain, Just to hear it fall is the sweetest sounding thing. And to see it fall on your simple country dress It's like heaven to me I must confess.

Color is made to obscure the brightest endowments, to degrade the fairest character, and to check the highest and most praiseworthy aspirations.

The picture will have charm when each color is very unlike the one next to it.

History is no more than memories refreshed.

Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there at the sandpile at Sunday School.