Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

...most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you.

History repeats, but science reverberates.

It was a smooth silvery voice that matched her hair. It had a tiny tinkle in it, like bells in a doll's house. I thought that was silly as soon as I thought of it.

We've had the U.N. for almost 60 years, yet we've never actually made a fundamental list of all the big things that we can do in the world, and said, 'Which of them should we do first?'

Shape and color are my two strong things. And by doing this, drawing plants has always led me into my paintings and my sculptures.

There are some benefits [that illegal aliens] clearly ought not have...[including] health benefits and welfare benefits and others that serve as a magnet attracting people here from other countries.

Acting is a tough business, and the percentage of people who make it is very low - it's about 1 percent.

There are some family traditions I don't want my children to carry on.

I think the people who work with me are people who love style themselves. I'm leaving the office and they're still working. They're passionate.

When people can say to themselves - "What I'm doing is justified," there is little chance of their modifying a behavior.