Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

God cannot and will not give us a sense of lasting pleasure apart from him, because it violates his purpose and our design. Psalm 34:8 reads, “Taste and see that the LORD is good.

Dear 2016, If I has any defeats in your term, I am glad they were on my terms!Best, The Defeated Winner

Love is the fruit of a sacred-soul.

Respect all people as you do your people, and you would be a fine people.

What man does not seek the power of his dreams, and believe in his ability to match the grace of his illusions.

Henry held up his taco- formerly Vlad's- and grinned. " Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius."pg248 Henry to Vlad & Joss

In some sense, I'm a romantic. I like the idea of organic history and tradition.

Let me be content with being happy, without sighing that I am not distinguished.

Good laws are the offspring of bad actions.

You’ve got to guess at worst cases: No model will tell you that. My rule of thumb is double the worst that you have ever seen.