Whenever you're faced with an explanation of what's going on in Washington, the choice between incompetence and conspiracy, always choose incompetence.

When under attack, no country is obligated to collect permission slips from allies to strike back.

A drone is a high-tech version of an old army and a musket. It ought to be used in Somalia to hunt bad guys, but not in America. I don't want to see it hovering over anybody's home.

Chess: It's like alcohol. It's a drug. I have to control it, or it could overwhelm me. I have a regular Monday night game at my home, and I do play a little online.

To understand the workings of American politics, you have to understand this fundamental law: Conservatives think liberals are stupid. Liberals think conservatives are evil.

There's a reason why in New York Harbor we have the Statue of Liberty, not the Statue of Equality.

If fences don't work, why is there one around the White House.

In explaining any puzzling Washington phenomenon, always choose stupidity over conspiracy, incompetence over cunning. Anything else gives them too much credit.

Better to be paralyzed from the neck down than the neck up

Washington is the only place in the world where a gaffe is when a politician accidently speaks the truth.

Obsession with self is the motif of our time.

Be true, unbeliever.

Remember: to succeed beyond your wildest dreams you need some pretty wild dreams to begin with.

Only in stillness does the imperceivable become discernible

The availability of choice is the downfall of mankind.

No really sensible person ever remembers enough poetry to recite it.

It’s funny, most people can be around someone and then gradually begin to love them and never know exactly when it happened

Hour-long TV is no joke. It tests you as a human being. It makes you a stronger person, but it's really crazy.

Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentleman, I just - he was a worthless shred of human debris.

When we relax about imperfection, we no longer lose our life moments in the pursuit of being different and in the fear of what is wrong.

I have never pretended to be a great House of Commons man, but I pay the House the greatest compliment I can by saying that, from first to last, I never stopped fearing it.