Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

It is only safe to mock a crocodile when you have crossed the river.

He sent up another silent prayer to wherever desperate prayers go and took the first step toward what he hoped would be salvation.

[T]he man who meditates is a depraved animal.

I'd just like to say that I have a personal disgust for small dogs, like poodles. I have some serious physical problems with them. Everything about them means I must kill them. I must.

Your basic person wants to talk about material culture, internet culture. I think about God, cats, nature.

There are no new lies, no new heresies. Man is simply not that creative.

A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.

It's a journey; it's a fight everyday.

Yazidis are facing the worst genocide of our times. They have been reduced from 23 million to 1 million.