Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Never stop believing that your dreams are eternal.

Reconciliation without truth is nothing but a smokescreen

Are you not in a race

Let's win this one for the Gipper.

I love food - I am never on a diet - I swear to God!

You must let go of your past and embrace your future and figure out what path you're going to go down

Had it not been for the Atlantic Ocean and the virgin wilderness, the United States would never have been the Land of Promise.

I am vulnerable, starved for kindness. And when I receive it, I lose my mind.

The vices of idleness are only to be shaken off by active employment.

It is a very positive event, being nervous. It allows you to do great things.