Where's your instruction manual?" I asked him. "What's the baby customer-service number?

Fate is the malevolent little jester sitting up in the heavens and pondering over how ridiculous we humans are and he does his best to make fools out of all of us. And sooner or later he succeeds.

... I discovered life sometimes has a way of giving you what you need, but not in the form you expect.

I think in a moment of weakness, you might surprise yourself.

A well-read woman is a dangerous creature.

I want to fill every part of you, breathe the air from your lungs and leave my handprints on your soul. I want to give you more pleasure than you can bear.

You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.

He was my confidant, the person who was always on my side even when he wasn't taking my side.

Most men don't seem to get that telling a pissed-off woman to calm down is like throwing gunpowder on a fire.” ~ Liberty Jones

A couple of times in your life, it happens like that. You meet a stranger, and all you know is that you need to know everything about him.

I've always thought it was about finding the right person. But it's about choosing the right person, isn't it?

If you respect yourself, you will respect others.

For true liberation, the only war we need to win is the war between presence and ego.

I turn even more flustered when I remember that I have actually pistol-whipped him in the face before. Romantic.

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz.

I'm not a sports dude, but I'm interested in the sociological implications of it.

In many ways Africa subsidised America and Europe's development.

Uncomfortable doesn't mean bad, uncomfortable simply means you're doing something you haven't done before.

The government has to spend money during a recession, because their spending is our earning.

I'm not perfect, I'm a flawed man, but I'm willing to try to get better, I'm willing to listen.

Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.