Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

Four years of Jimmy Carter gave us two titanic Reagan landslides, peace and prosperity for eight blessed years - and even a third term for his feckless vice president, George H.W. Bush.

I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties. I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning.

Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media.

Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.

In the druidical religion of liberalism, not separating your recyclables is a sin, but abortion is just a medical procedure.

There is no surer proof of Christ's divinity than that he is still so hated some two thousand years after his death.

Liberals want the family destroyed, they want religion destroned, because then you have loyalty directly to the state.

We are condemned to be free people, liberated people who must make life-defining decisions. Freedom requires choices and all choices entail value decisions.

When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we'll be funnier to look at than to read.

Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.

He who has once taken to drink can seldom be said to be guilty of one sin only.

The trouble is you can't play many matches when you lose them.

Isn't three quarters of life a guilty pleasure?

Her heart was pounding impossibly fast. Then she realized She was feeling both of their hearts, racing each other. A kind of desperate conversation, one they couldn't have with words.

We're taking part in a divine comedy and we should realise that the play is always a comedy, in that we're all ultimately ridiculous.

Most gulls don't bother to learn more than the simplest facts of flight - how to get from shore to food and back again

I've never got into debt and I've always been in control of my taxes and VAT, but having four children costs a lot. They are my weakness.