Whether I'm on for a day or whether I'm on for a year, at the end of the day, I sing for my dinner.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

We don't go back to wallow, we go back to undo the lies that are back there that are holding its captive from living a wondrous and full life.

Inclusion and fairness in the workplace . . . is not simply the right thing to do; it's the smart thing to do.

Ideas reflect the moment, and so you have to use them. If you store ideas, they wither.

Anderson isn't qualified to make Frank Mir a sandwich

Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.

There's no in between-you're either good or bad. We were in between.

Man never knows what he wants; he aspires to penetrate mysteries and as soon as he has, wants to re-establish them. Ignorance irritates him and knowledge cloys.

Whoever would do good in the world, ought not to deal in censure. We ought not to destroy, but rather construct.

The present system of taking oaths is horrible. It is awfully absurd to make a man invoke God's wrath upon himself, if he speaks false; it is, in my judgment, a sin to do so.

Compliance does not foster innovation, trust does. You can't sustain long-term innovation, for example, in a climate of distrust.