Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Family is the greatest treasure.

You cannot find excellent corporate worship until you stop trying to find excellent corporate worship and pursue God himself.

Bureaucracy: A contentious rumble toward the establishment of authoritarian rule.

A man is known by the company he keeps.

"Government" is the name we give to the things we choose to do together.

To have a successful marriage, a man must, on a fundamental level be scared shitless of his wife.

Virtue consisteth of three parts,--temperance, fortitude, and justice.

I have lived in the United States for half of my life, my entire adult life.

A country of victims is also a country of heroes, risking their lives so others will live. This is the Philippines, the country we love.

I have developed a Samoan mentality. You have to be a gentleman everywhere but on the field.