Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we have.

The best things in life aren't things.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

The things that matter most are not things.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

A person doesn't know true hurt and suffering until they've felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere.

People who say that music is dead or hip-hop is dead are refusing to evolve.

Confession is a kind of pride.

Nothing is so much to be feared as fear. Atheism may comparatively be popular with God himself.

There have been times in my life where I was asked to do things and I didn't feel comfortable with it.

Brave words in a room full of pulseless creatures. Spade gave Don a disgusted glance while Rodney just licked his lips. No doubt he was mentally salting and peppering Don.

Make the most of time, it flies away so fast; yet method will teach you to win time.

Coincidence is what you have left over when you apply a bad theory.

The ability to throw 100 mph cannot be taught, cannot be learned, it can only be God-given.

Honesty, capacity, and industry are nowhere more indispensable than in public employment.