Whether or not you love television, you've got to admit that it certainly loves itself.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.

We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. They might not return it; or worse, they might.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.

It is always dangerous to declare a turning point in history. We always tend to feel that, when we are alive, something really major is happening.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

I think that Joe Biden is qualified in many respects. But I do point out that he's been wrong on many foreign policy and national security issues, which is supposed to be his strength.

I'm a decent sprinter and I can gun a motorcycle from zero to suicidal in less than ten seconds.

Throw off your worries when you throw off your clothes at night.

Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars-and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful.

You're changing, the world is changing, and your hopes and aspirations are regularly being updated. That's why I say this is a life long struggle - for everybody.

A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours.

The sidesaddle was designed to protect a maiden's virginity, while risking the maiden's neck. Rather much for rather little, I thought.