Which of the religions of the world gives to its followers the greatest happiness? While it lasts, the religion of worshiping oneself is best.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I remember her words to me when I left school: Your mind will be your comfort. It is, sometimes. And sometimes it isn't.

We should never be allowed to forget that it is the customer who, in the end, determines how many people are employed and what sort of wages companies can afford.

We've got fuel prices coming down and good travel numbers coming out, so it's not surprising airline stocks are going up.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

There is just this moment. We are not trying to improve or to get anywhere else.

I support building a soccer stadium in the District of Columbia, and I support investing public dollars to get it done.

Progress is obtained only by exploiting opportunities, not by solving problems. When you solve problems, all you do is guarantee a return to normalcy.

The unanswerable mysteries... the attitude that all is uncertain... to summarize it - the humility of the intellect.

Live at the empty heart of paradox. I'll dance with you there, cheek to cheek.

All has not been said and never will be.