While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Twenty miles out of town. A million miles from the life you left behind.

I want a sword not a knitting needle -Kalen

Silence is often the best thing to say.

Lao Tsu doesn't seem to hold to much stock for words or phrases or teachings.

Each of us lives only now, this brief instant. The rest been lived already, or is impossible to see. The span we live is small - small as the corner of the earth in which we live it.

Doing goodness is good only when you don't expect anything in return; not a medal, not even a simple thanking!

I don't want the ideas to be limited by what I can physically do. The ideas come first.

What we need is a theology of salvation that begins and ends with a recognition of every person's hunger for glory.

The easily ridiculed, so-so status quo often hides Herculean efforts by those whom we take for granted, and who, working in the shadows, guarantee civilization instead of chaos.

For the red carpet, I think dress first and the makeup to follow.