While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

There is no virtue in poverty and illness. we all have been created to be healthy and wealthy with more than enough for everyone.

If your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another before you do anything you should first decide whether you have a better head or a better heart.

A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer.

Shop often, shop hard, and spend for the best stuff available - logic dictates that you can make delicious food only with delicious ingredients.

A style does not go out of style as long as it adapts itself to its period. When there is an incompatibility between the style and a certain state of mind, it is never the style that triumphs.

To be a good patriot, a man must consider his countrymen as God's creatures, and himself as accountable for his acting towards them.

Riches amassed in haste will diminish; but those collected by hand and little by little will multiply.

One of the reasons I started Tzadik, which is my own label, is to keep things in print. I got tired of labels dropping things out of print when they don't sell.

Cowards cannot pass beyond the walls or beyond the wire fences! For them, frontiers are always the end of the road!

Many a serious thinker has been produced in prisons, where we have nothing to do but think.