While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

The most difficult experience one might ever have, is to grieve the loss of a Loved-one who is still alive.

Seeds of doubt, once planted, will grow.

What we women need to do, instead of worrying about what we don't have, is just love what we do have.

...being an effective teacher is a high calling.

The fashionable Canadian drug habit, instead of cocaine, is to sniff real snow.

I had gotten to the point where I just didn't want to perform anymore - I didn't want to be on the chopping block anymore. I started to want to withdraw and retreat from it.

We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.

The smallest annoyances, disturb us the most.

The body is extremely important to me, because it is a planet. For instance, if you compare Earth and an astronomer, you will see that the man is a planet.

She is a woman, therefore to be won.