Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

The fear of God is to depart from evil.

You make yourself too hard, you make yourself brittle too. Crack once, crack all to pieces

Mother Nature comes up against reality, and the reality is that the system doesn't work.

I want to go on living even after my death, And therefore I am grateful to God For giving this gift... Of expressing all that is in me.

Australia is a huge rest home, where no unwelcome news is ever wafted on to the pages of the worst newspapers in the world.

If you were to sell your character, would you get full retail or would it go for a bargain-basement price?

And right now, you two jackwagons are right in the middle of my living room and I'm coming to take out the trash.

Revenge, we find, the abject pleasure of an abject mind.

All good performance starts with clear goals.

The R.I.P.D. picture is like a graphic novel, I guess. I don't know if it's like a typical kind of comic book. But there is great source material for those kinds of films.