Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust

Always think about loyal not for beautiful, about true not for rich, because if you have your loyal and true, you have your beautiful and rich

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood.

What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money.

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

I don't take money seriously, so I can't keep any.

I do not believe there are any new objections to be discovered to the truth of Christianity. Men may argue ingeniously against our faith, but what can they say in defense of their own?

If you create the stage setting and it is grand, everyone who enters will play their part.

Good poets borrow, great poets steal

I have to go over my carefully prepared ad-libs.