White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Free me as free is the forest fire, as is the thunder that laughs aloud and hurls defiance to darkness.

Unless I really loved it and felt really passionate about it, I would just kind of abort the song and start a new one.

If you think you know what I'm doing wrong well you're gonna have to get in line.

March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'

I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT

Convicts are the best audience I ever played for.

Im gonna be something one of these days.

Someone has to spread the good news that we survived.

The battle for the world is the battle for definitions.

I'm not one to get involved with what anyone says about me.