Who but an English professor would threaten to kill a duck a day and hold up a goose as an example?

At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious.

And there comes a time in your life when you realize that if you don't take the opportunity to be happy, you may never get another chance again.

People sometimes get in the habit of being loyal to a mistake.

You use simple brushstrokes in a screenplay for things over which you would take much greater pains in a novel.

Have you ever noticed that when people use the expression 'I have to say', what follows usually needn't be said?

What if all everybody needed in the world was to be sure of one friend? What if you were the one, and you refused to say those simple words?

My books are elegiac in the sense that they're odes to a nation that even I sometimes think may not exist anymore except in my memory and my imagination.

Worse, I have to admit to feeling the jealousy of one crab for another that has managed to climb out of the barrel.

Bookstores, like libraries, are the physical manifestation of the wide world's longest, most thrilling conversation.

I was the one who did come through that door. You were the one she was waiting for.

Don't fear the unexpecred or you'll be locked in time.

The journey to loving ourselves doesn’t mean we like everything.

Better to step out of your comfort zone, enjoy new experiences & not know what's coming your way, than stick to routines & be bored with the same end results.

Doubt grew only in the fertile darkness of solitude

Here's what Mike knew about kids: They did stupid stuff. Pretty much all of them.

You need to dream nicer dreams. I come from a world that is a much nicer dream.

The universe is the mirror in which we can contemplate only what we have learned to know in ourselves

It is a dear and lovely disposition, and a most valuable one, that can brush away indignities and discourtesies and seek and find the pleasanter features of an experience.

Being in permanent campaign mode allows you to never stop the process of destroying your opponents.

Understanding, love and tolerance are the highest forms of interest on out small and interdependent planet.