Who doesn’t have a polo shirt? Only somebody from, like, Lake Minnetonka.

When you think of the debonair, ridiculously good-looking guy, you think of me.

I don't have to be walking around like some peasant. I'm royalty!

All the haters are just jealous, so they're trying to bring me down. I'm young, handsome, successful, wealthy. You could say I'm a role model – I'm the American dream!

I may be a douche to some people, but I actually do run companies.

Dream big so even if you don't hit the top you will make it somewhere decent.

Balls in general are not a good looking item.

I gotta learn to rap.

You don't respect my religion. I don't respect your outfit.

The more I sleep the less I have to hang out with everyone

I never thought I'd be in a family that has more people than a small country.

Tigers cannot afford to care about what sheep think.

That dress was designed to be a kill switch for rational thought.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.

The entire cosmos is one vast burning bush, permeated by the fire of the divine power and glory

I am no longer amazed by how quickly a man will justify his change of heart when a spear is leveled his way.

Hierarchy, as in the Catholic Church, has to do with power, and vertical attention has to do with longing.

Control the things you can control .

No price is too great to pay for inner peace.