Who ever heard, indeed, of an autobiography that was not (interesting)? I can recall none in all the literature of the world

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Start with a picture of your goal as already achieved in the future, and work back to the present. Imagine the steps that you would have taken to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

You know the only thing for me, obviously the routine was completely different, but I had plenty of time getting loose. I threw enough pitches, took my time. Tried to time it out as best I could.

Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk.

I feel like my life has always been the 'Hey Look at Me Show.' I'm not apologetic about that.

The Spaniards have a saying that there is no man whom Fortune does not visit at least once in his life.

The most important thing in life is to love what you’re dong, because that’s the only way you’ll ever be really good at it.

A saint is a person who gives of themself without asking for anything in return. That's how simple it is to be a saint. Try it! Try being a saint

We have the deepest respect and reverence for Islam and all who share the faith of Islam.

Gratitude is the proper response for the absolute astonishment of getting to be alive, and aware, and an essential part of this crazy, sprawling story.

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.