Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

Animals store their fears and at times OUR fears in the body and manifest physical illnesses like we do. Like us, these fears may have occurred in infancy and are still carried in the adult body.

Barack Obama is the worst president in history.

If I pop everyone who calls me a diva then I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison.

It’s not the job of an actor to judge your character.

Most presidents come to Washington bright as freshly minted dimes and leave much diminished.

We can lead others only as far along the road as we ourselves have traveled. merely pointing the way is not enough. If we are not walking, then no one can be following, and ware not leading anyone.

I cannot understand why some people try to write a history of photography that is separated from the history of modern art.

Followers are the customers of the Higher Ground Leader, who strives to meet or exceed the outer and inner needs of followers.

Talking about the all night concerts, I did some of the first all night concerts back in the 60's with this little harmonium, and I also had saxophone taped delays.

October turned my maple's leaves to gold; The most are gone now; here and there one lingers: Soon these will slip from the twigs' weak hold, Like coins between a dying miser's fingers.