Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

Like your job. Love your wife.

Those things that are not within your control can often be the very things that set you free.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.

...it’s not just the person who fills a house, it’s their I’ll be back later!s, their toothbrushes and unused hats and coats, their belongingnesses.

Stop making excuses and start giving yourself enough reasons why you must eat healthier and exercise regularly. Excuses are your enemies of progress.

Love makes people do crazy things. And not feeling loved can bring people to the edge of madness.

What a grand thing to be loved! What a grander thing still to lovel

I enjoy the process of composing music. The first time I hear a song, it has to bring a smile to my lips. You have to tap your feet and be able to sing the song.

Heroes have a rough time because they stand up when they ought not to, they speak when they ought not to; they always have to go that extra mile.

Ye moon and stars, bear witness to the truth.

In time of sickness the soul collects itself anew.