Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Condition a woman (or a man) to value submission above all other attitudes and you will produce a character type whose most readily expressed emotion will be sadness.

We are all fools blessed with the knowledge that certain events will come to pass no matter what path we take to get there. The wise ones follow their angels while they may.

The best opportunities to be nice to others come in the face of adversity. Kindness wins. Reciprocity rules. NetworkEtiquette.net

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

—a knowledgeable man is a free man, or at least a man who longs for freedom.

It is the small things in life which count; it is the inconsequential leak which empties the biggest reservoir.

Nobody's free until everybody's free.

The wheel and the brake have different duties, but also one in common: to hurt one another.

Look in, and see Christ's chosen saint In triumph wear his Christ-like chain; No fear lest he should swerve or faint; "His life is Christ, his death is gain.

His fielding leaves you wondering. Then he steps up to hit and all doubts start to fade.