Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

You think that your laws correct evil - they only increase it. There is but one way to end evil - by rendering good for evil to all men without distinction.

Virtue was vanity dressed up and waiting for applause.

I also know that every person faces adversity in life. Abraham Lincoln held this seat in Congress in one term. But few faced as many defeats in his personal, business and public life as he did.

I actually think the common anarchist position is that people are fundamentally good, blah blah blah. I don't believe that.

I can feel that the world this day is different than all the days of our lives before.

From a personal point of view I want some medals because that is what you aim for when you start out playing.

If I love in thee, beloved, only what thou lovest most, do not be angry; for so one spirit is enamoured of another.

The way you write affects what you say.

If you [c]annot find your [h]eart's desire in your own backyard, you never lost it to begin with

I love the most the students with troubled lives.