Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wiseguy' opposites?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.

You discuss philosophy about what you read but never really live the wisdom.

If you have no troubles – buy a goat.

You only get a chance to live your dream once, and I'm living mine right now.

To love it too much is to obscure and not see what is there.

Trying to save ecosystems has more to do with changing egosystems.

This is not just about talking or teaching a practice - this is about releasing an explosive energy of ecstasy.

I read books like mad, but I am careful to to let anything I read influence me.

Everybody needs inspiration Everbody needs a song. A beautiful melody, When the night's so long. Cause there is no guarantee, That this life is easy.

I have always loved Waffle House. It's been like an oasis in the desert many times late at night after one of my concerts.