Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

Self-discipline is a learned habit that should be developed and continuously worked on through regular application, practice, and repetition.

She felt hot liquid anger suddenly cool and harden into something powerful and immovable.

Life is but a prayer.

You better have great practices.

I would like to have a big white wedding and eventually have a family.

So much of Jaws was amazing because the mind filled in what was missing.

I think that's a connection that you can only hope for. It's not something that you can make because it needs someone else.

What I learned from this movie, 40 Days and 40 Nights: Abstinence can be a very good thing. Especially from box offices where this film is playing.

If time, so fleeting, must like humans die, let it be filled with good food and good talk, and then embalmed in the perfumes of conviviality.

Most people who are rich chose their parents wisely.