Why are there no clouds in the sky? ... 'Cause God wants to watch his favorite band again!

Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts.

The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.

I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump

Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together.

Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.

I'm a drummer. I can count to four and repeat.

I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.

Without delayed gratification, goals are not achieved and objectives don’t get accomplished.

To kill a man will be considered as disgusting [in the twentieth century] as we in this day consider it disgusting to eat one.

In front, the sun climbs slow, how slowly, but westward, look, the land is bright.

Perhaps [James Herondale] loved vice for vice's own sake.

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.

I'm not blaming men, I'm not blaming women. What's gone by has already gone by. It's history. It's done. There is no right or wrong in higher spirituality.

Among the facts of the universe to be accounted for, it may be said, is Mind; and it is self evident that nothing can have produced Mind but Mind.

Tell the viewer something that they need to know.

I believe in anything that causes mass hysteria in children.

Give up a member to save a family, a family to save a village, a village to save a country, and the country to save yourself.