Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like 'Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn.

I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French.

Never ask a woman why she's angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Both ways, you lose.

Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.

They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic.

Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter.

The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather be a jerk than a scientist when it comes to love.

Favorite color: I hate colors.

Don't just become a monument of information, rather a solace of knowledge refuge.

I remember the way his eyes pinned my body against the backdrop of Paris as if I was some rare butterfly pinned to an exhibit box.

We must never be afraid to go too far, for truth lies beyond.

The plan was criticized by some retired military officers embedded in TV studios. But with every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of that plan becomes more apparent.

The silence of a shut park does not sound like country silence: it is tense and confined.

I admire runners older than I - they are now my heroes. I want to be like them as I grow older.

Music is more objective, I think, than a lot of art is, but a surprising amount of it is cultural.

Migration gives a blank cheque to put anything you don't feel like addressing in the memory hold. No neighbours can go against the monster narrative of your family.

Photography is Art and Art is Photography.

In the long run, doing work that's important leads to more happiness than doing work that's merely profitable.