Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair; Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Why can't a woman be like that?

Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment, that was known as Camelot.

Coughing in the theater is not a respiratory ailment. It is a criticism.

I'm getting married in the morning! / Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime. / Pull out the stopper! Let's have a whopper! / But get me to the church on time!.

It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

You write a hit the same way you write a flop.

The winter is forbidden till December, And exits March the second on the dot. By order summer lingers through September In Camelot.

Youth has many glories, but judgement is not one of them, and no amount of electronic amplification can turn a belch into an aria.

Stay close to the young... and a little rubs off.

Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They might be saying the same thing over here, but it sounds better in French.

You see what happens today. Women act like men and want to be treated like women.

Is Life itself a dream, I wonder?

A demonic reaper asked to be my valentine and then killed his crazy ex-girlfriend to save my life. Tomorrow I was starting up antipsychotic meds.

You think your smarter and braver than anyone?, well, , think again, you don't always win from the battle you're in.

I'm happily single.

I'm Just an Old Chunk of Coal (But I'm Gonna Be a Diamond Someday).

You grew old first not in your own eyes, but in other people's eyes; then, slowly, you agreed with their opinion of you.

We pray that the deceitful race - such hateful enemies and blasphemers of the name of Christ - be not allowed to further infect and trouble this new colony.

I just called to say, 'I love you.

What we have to be is what we are.

Managing by results only makes things worse.