Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.

If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.

Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.

Age to women is what kryptonite is to Superman. Inside every older woman is a younger woman screaming, 'Get me the hell outta here.'

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

My sisters and I miss our dad dreadfully. But grief, of course, is the price of love.

As a breastfeeding mother you are basically just meals on heels.

living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts

Any woman who calls herself a post-feminist should keep her Wonderbra and burn her brains.

Writing allows me the time to travel and see the world, which is what I always wanted to do. I'd really like to have been Sir Richard Francis Burton, but it's the wrong century.

America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.

I don't care if a man's theory for tomorrow is correct, I care if his spirit of today is correct.

As a writer, as a creator, I'm giving you my experiences. But just take what I give you. You ain't got to pry beyond that.

I'd work to make it hip again to spend time in our fabled and fabulous land. But with a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother, I would probably be better suited as mayor of New York.

She liked the way his smile took a long time to arrive and just as long to leave.

I set myself high standards on the pitch and know I have not always lived up to them this season.

You know when I say that things happen in matches? Well, it just happened there.

I've learned to judge of men by their own deeds; I do not make the accident of birth The standard of their merit.

An increase of two or three degrees wouldn't be so bad for a northern country like Russia. We could spend less on fur coats, and the grain harvest would go up.