Why did I get married in a ballpark? My wife wanted a big diamond

I feel that I deserve to hear just some words to justify the actions of an organization that I have honored and promoted every day of my nearly 30-year existence in it.

I have no decision-making role at all in my job description. I would have liked an explanation as to why I was moved from first base coach to the ambassadorship, but none was ever given.

Fear makes idiots out of us all, at some time or other.

I have been both a ghost and haunted in the city I love.

Lord, bless me with the ability to achieve all that I can, and the wisdom to realize it doesn't all have to be by tomorrow!

It's always harder to maintain raw enthusiasm or joy than to go into a really dark place.

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?

All actors are looking for that role that's going to define who they are. When it happens, it's a good thing.

Atheists have an excellent longevity record because we have no place to go after we die, so we take good care of ourselves and our world while we are here.

I do a movie once every four years and they call it a comeback.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.