Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

One of the greatest and simplest tools for learning more and growing is doing more.

Doubt is the incentive to truth and inquiry leads the way.

I may look fake but I'm real where it counts.

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring.

Did all this make sense?

She looks uptown, but she ain't really. She's into football, she likes my chili.

It world be well had we more misers than we have among us.

I think really, if I were to defend the K-1 strikers, that it was a pressure of not enough time to re-prepare for a fight and not enough time to repair for a fight as a result of the last show.

There is nothing in your mind which wasn't experienced before hand.

Negative things you tell yourself are inCANTations, turn them into inCANtations.