Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Progress imposes not only new possibilities for the future but new restrictions.

Music makes me high on stage, and that's the truth. It's like being almost addicted to music.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

God knew we would make mistakes. Life is all about mistakes. It is constant change and growth. Our greatest challenges in life will one day be known to us as our greatest teachers.

We have blacks and whites, Jews and Arabs, Serbs and Croats, and Filipinos and Vietnamese here. At the end of the day, everyone is each other's brother.

You can have my credit card, baby, but keep your red hot fingers off of my heart, lady.

If these are indeed the spirits of Englishmen and Englishwomen who have passed over into the next world, surely they would know how to form a proper queue?

nothing is as conventional as adolescence.

There is a what-the-hell moment in life when you feel you have been pre-punished for every sin you'll ever commit.

Alchemy is about the generation of a psychic construct, a wholeness, a thing which has many properties, which is paradoxical, which is both mind and matter, which can do anything.