Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Most sentimental ideas imply, at bottom, a deep if unacknowledged disrespect.

You can’t be a big dreamer if you don’t where you are going. You can’t know where you are going unless you first know where you are.

A horror writer is one who is not only willing to look into the darkest of shadows...but to reach into them too.

Depend only upon yourself, but work in harmony with all things.

I don't have a dime left. I am dependent on my friends for food and a small old-age pension.

Most people want to get what they want, whereas the secret is to want what you get at this moment.

The Spider as an Artist Has never been employed- Though his surpassing Merit Is freely certified.

Do not make the mistake of holding your idea close to your chest… Submit it to the criticism of the judicious.

The preeminent obstacle to peace is Israel's colonization of Palestine.

I would prefer chess to become part of the Olympic Games. This would also lead to chess become more accepted as a sport in general.