Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Be the person you needed when you needed help.

Follow his intuition is the art of being guided by the Angel of the heart

I used to think that seniority was a terrible thing when I didn't have any.

It's great when you play to an audience that knows the words to all your songs, and sings them back to you.

To drag a man in fetters into the grand illuminated temple of liberty, and call upon him to join you in joyous anthems, were inhuman mockery and sacrilegious irony.

What are we doing to keep the light shining in our own eyes and countenances; Much of that light comes from our discipline dedication and consecration.

I think once you start eating people you should stop claiming to be a vegetarian, even if you only eat bad people.

My poor head is in such a whirl, my mind is all in bits.

Going to the Grammys, being nominated for a Grammy, that was a really big deal for me, for us as a band.

I didn't even know what acting was at 11 years old. I truly believed that acting was hidden cameras everywhere. And I felt that these actors on the screen were somehow real people.