Why does it take two days for a polaroid of John Major to appear?

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

Quick: noise made by a dyslexic duck

They say that adultery is the main thing that can damage a marriage, but it's not. It's boredom.

I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?

Every Child Deserves A Chance To Live Their Own Dream

Sometimes life has a habit of flooding over you and rushing you along in its overwhelming tide.

Some people can't sing - like honestly - but they're famous anyway, and they might be famous for being an artist, which is completely different from being a singer.

Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.

Henceforth, we shall be happy to be a free citizen in an independent country.

Come, my Way, my Truth, my Life: Such a Way as gives us breath: Such a Truth as ends all strife: Such a Life as killeth death.

See the gold sunshine patching, And streaming and streaking across The gray-green oaks; and catching, By its soft brown beard, the moss.

The corrupt man is nearly always rootless, deeply aware of his rootlessness.

What pleasure can those over-happy persons know, who, from their affluence and luxury, always eat before they are hungry and drink before they are thirsty?

I want to be the best player possible.