Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.

Everyone that steps on to the ladder of success must have hope. Without it, no one is able to reach the top.

Ambition is the driving engine behind every great success.

I am not afraid of retaliations. I don't have kids. I don't have a wife, no car, no credit. It may seem pompous, but I'd rather die standing than live on my knees.

Other than my hundreds of arrests I really don't have that much experience with the law. While the majority of people aren't corrupt, there certainly is an awful lot of corruption in this country.

Everywhere you go, mother nature's throwing some curve-ball at you.

Living in continual chaos is exhausting, frightening. The catch is that it's also very addictive.

Mutual commitment helps overcome the fear of failure—especially when people are part of a team sharing and achieving goals. It also sets the stage for open dialogue and honest conversation.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assumption or prediction that, purely as a result of having been made, cause the expected or predicted event to occur and thus confirms its own 'accuracy.'

You're too old to still be playing. I'll buy you a rocker you can sit in.