Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

If I shave, I don't have a chin anymore.

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

A mind at liberty to reflect on its own observations, if it produce nothing useful to the world, seldom fails of entertainment to itself.

If you want to change the way your banking system is regulated, if you want to learn the mistakes of what's gone wrong, then you have to change your government.

All things happen for a purpose.

It's the hardest thing in the world to accept a 'little' success and leave it that way.

You're exactly where you're meant to be, meandering along a crooked path.

Life is sometimes sad and often dull, but there are currants in the cake, and here is one of them.

Film acting is one of the only industries where you're criticized for working hard. In any other industry, it's considered a quality and something to behold.

Realize all this as illusion, realize that within the illusion is the Real.