Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

I think the best things happen when you just let go and see what comes in. I find that that's always the most satisfying.

Love is something so divine, Description would but make it less; 'Tis what I feel, but can't define, 'Tis what I know but can't express

I've always been taught to play the game hard. Baseball is such a tough game, it really humbles you at times, you just have to try not to get too high or too low.

Nothing is as important as the biggest day in your life.

You just have to realize that Jet Li is a movie star. He's great at what he does, but if he stepped into our world he wouldn't last long.

As Ethiopia goes, so goes the whole Horn of Africa - a region where instability can have major security and humanitarian implications for the United States and Europe.

We hide from ourselves by being with others.

From every ruin, life springs up again and everything that dies is born again.

Rock n' roll is very special to me. It's my lifeblood.

Leaking classified information is a crime. And if we have evidence that somebody in the executive branch is committing a crime, we should prosecute that person.