Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

But that's the thing about fate. It comes whether you're ready for it or not.

Maxim's voice, clear and strong, "Will someone take my wife outside?She is going to faint.

In Buddha’s opinion, to train in staying open and curious—to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs—is the best use of our human lives.

Death is easier than a wretched life; and better never to have born than to live and fare badly.

Above all, art should be fun.

You are not a prisoner of your thoughts. You have the ability to control what you are thinking.

America was born modern; it did not have to achieve modernity, nor did it have modernity thrust upon it.

I am an American citizen and it is my home now. I like the USA, which is not a place too many people have liked since Bush. The US has a young population, and everything can change within a year.

On a single day, I read articles where I was described as being alternately 'lanky,' 'pudgy,' 'doughy,' 'balding,' 'utterly forgettable,' and 'constantly irritating.

Ammunition beats persuasion when you are looking for freedom.