Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

God is my provider I brag different.

Aaron snorted "That's so cheesy.""Well yeah. I am cheesy. I'm the king of cheese. You should know that by now.Aaron's eyes were dancing with amusement. "I prefer to call you classically romantic.

Beauty, like truth, is relative to the time when one lives and to the individual who can grasp it. The expression of beauty is in direct ratio to the power of conception the artist has acquired.

I'm going to tell you the story about the geese which fly 5,000 miles from Canada to France.

Being normal is grossly over-rated.

Designers + artists see potential in things where others do not. I think artists in many ways are the original entrepreneurs.

He is not coming back." And it hurt.It hurt until she was a mass of pain,worse than it had been when she thought he was dead. More all consuming. Ravaging her insides.

Dare to dream of your great success.

A Discordian is someone who sees windmills and thinks they might be giants

Even in hell, if a man was a man, you'd know it.