Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Spending all your energy on one opinion is like confining yourself to living in a box, and most people in a box aren't living.

Sometimes people go to a yoga class and think it's not for them, but it might just not be the right studio or teacher - try a new one!

The Divine does not come from somewhere above, it exists beyond time and space, and informs all life.

Are you suggesting that we reopen the Opera with a murder as an added attraction?

It is the quick path. We turn everything inside out and upside down - which is when it gets straightened out very neatly and in an orderly fashion.

My creative process begins when I get out with the camera and interact with the world. A camera is truly a license to explore. There are no uninteresting things. There are just uninterested people.

I only want to write one thing over the doorpost to my heart and life: “Jesus Christ lives here.

I have my moods, but I can always see something beautiful.

I shudder at the concept of a world tamed.

The person that works the hardest wins.