Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

On this Mother's Day and every day before and after, I thank you God for the precious gift of my three children. I love them unconditionally.

After all, the girl actually had faith in something, which was more than most people had in these dark times. It was wrong to destroy it.

BLAKE: I’ve come to learn that people are going to hate you and like you, no matter what. I’d rather be around people I want to be around.

Shane waved a hand. “Please, we know that all ittakes to get into your pants is a Hot Pocket and aNetFlix rental.

How many a father have I seen, A sober man, among his boys, Whose youth was full of foolish noise.

The person who doesn't know something can't be done will often find a way to go ahead and do it.

A little group of wise hearts is better than a wilderness full of fools.

Im truly the best singer in the country. My kind of pop music is the best in Spain.

I have replaced my instinct for secrecy with an instinct for confession.

I love to compete. That's the essence of who I am.